Three Cheers For New Year's 'Resolutions'!

This is that time of year you hear a lot of murmurs of opinions of making 'resolutions' for New Years.  A lot of people think it's hogwash, baloney, a useless attempt at making changes, etc.  Here's my take:

If you're one of those near-perfect people that can wake up one day, decide to make a change and just do it steadfast and strong and it holds forever - more power to you.  If you're like me and need reminders, convictions, chances to 'start over' - this is that time.  Personally, I see not a thing wrong with deciding to take advantage of a date on the calendar to make a positive change in my life.  I can honestly say that I've stuck with a lot of 'resolutions' I've made.  However, here is my biggest and best advice to all you resolution-setters:

-Be realistic!  Don't 'resolve' that you will lose 50 pounds in 6 months, quit smoking, eat better, pick better boyfriends/girlfriends, exercise 7 days/week AND call your Mom every single Sunday.  If those are realistic for you all at once, go for it. 

For most of us, however, here is realistic:

- I want to lose 'xx' pounds and will start with not eating past 6pm, not finishing my child's leftovers and controlling my portion size, especially at dinner time.

- I do need to call my parent/s(brother/sister,etc) more often and will aim for do so every 2-3 weeks and more if I think of it.

- I want to quit smoking but can not do it on my own.  I will utilize that 1-800 number I see posted, talk to friends, my doctor, etc and I really can do this!!

- The type of partner/s I chose is not about them, it's about me.  I vow to take a break from romantic relationships and focus on myself.

- I resolve that every time I say something negative to myself, about myself, I will follow up with at least two nice things about myself.

- I resolve to work on my eating habits by changing just one small thing a month (unless it's a major health issue than seriously, GO FOR IT)

- I will start with committing to exercise at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes.

I don't know exactly what mine are yet but they do involve weight loss and exercise (they are popular for a reason.  A lot of us really struggle with these).  They also involve making 52 small changes this year, of varying sorts, and will be 'TBD'.

Not sure why New Year's resolutions get such a bashing.  I also see nothing wrong with taking your sweetheart out for Valentine's Day, treating Mom extra nice on Mother's Day (and vice versa on Father's Day, etc.)  I've heard people say that these celebrations and commitments should be year round, every day.  Is this realistic?  Somewhat.  I love my husband every day and cherish him and he me.  Does he cook all three meals every day?  Not a chance!! On Mother's Day, he cooks all food for the day and does all the dishes.  I don't expect this of him other days.  He works 5 1/2 days/ week, long hours and works hard physically.  So, yes, I LOVE Mother's Day.  I guess those are different posts.  It just gets me hyped up a bit when these 'calendar days/hallmark days' get bashed so much.  The way I see it, if anyone out there can use New Year's to make a significant change in their life, for the best, and stick with it - it's worth it - period.

That's all.

Now, if you feel so compelled - start thinking and writing and planning - realistically.  It's literally around the corner folks! 

All the best!

Get it together Vik!!

I say this phrase, to myself (or variations of - and rather rudely and loudly) several times a day - though, thankfully, not every single day....quite.  I don't understand why I can't get it together more, be better organized, get out of the house on time and arrive 'on time' to our destination, get a good 'complete' day of schooling in for Sage, finish the dishes, fold the laundry, not talk mean to my child because he's getting on my nerves, lose the weight I want to lose, get more things accomplished on a day I'm actually home all day, handle the budget better, smile and laugh more, etc etc (you get the idea and have most likely said those same ones, similar and/or more)......

Here are a few random pointers, for getting you (and ME) through (and no, I am not suggesting they'll work for everyone all the time, or at all) - just that they have worked for me:

- Work on becoming a 'single-tasker', not a multi-tasker.  Actually completing even 1- 3 things a day feels so much better than starting 10 but never completing any of them.  Guess what, it's still there waiting, giving us yet more reason to tell ourselves we weren't good enough, again....

-  If you're lucky (and unlucky too) you will always be your own worst critic.  Most times, the people around you, in your direct living environment, think you're doing an incredible job! 

- Accept that there will always be something else waiting to be done.  It doesn't stop, plain and simple.  So, don't expect that suddenly at some sunshiny moment, everything in your life will be complete and 'done'.

-Remember that on another day, the things driving you nuts right now won't necessarily drive you nuts.  Frame of mind....

-  When you're right in the middle of a rant to yourself, about yourself - STOP and counteract the negativity with overkill of kindness.  Seriously,  toot your own horn ("I'm the best cook EVER", "No-one fixes a boo boo better than me", "I've got great hair", "Nobody looks as good in this shirt as I do", etc).  Go for overkill here until you're laughing at yourself and glad that no-one is around to hear.  Better yet, say it nice and loud dancing around whomever happens to be in the room.

-  When it just seems like one of those days that things are not flowing and not a whole lot is feeling warm and fuzzy to you - give up.  Yep, you read right - give it all up for the day.  The world will keep revolving, don't worry.  Accept it's just not working, and do something for yourself or play with your offspring.  After all, we did have children to remind ourselves how to play more, amongst other reasons.  One of my favorite things to do is just read to my 5yo son when I feel like my mind is going to explode.

-Finally (and desperately), if nothing else works, watch a Soap Opera (which, I haven't in about 20ish years but I remember what they were like!).  Your life will always look better in comparison.  If they're happy, you know they won't be for long.

By the way, I do believe I'm a truly great mother, wife and person, in case you were wondering.... :)