This is that time of year you hear a lot of murmurs of opinions of making 'resolutions' for New Years. A lot of people think it's hogwash, baloney, a useless attempt at making changes, etc. Here's my take:
If you're one of those near-perfect people that can wake up one day, decide to make a change and just do it steadfast and strong and it holds forever - more power to you. If you're like me and need reminders, convictions, chances to 'start over' - this is that time. Personally, I see not a thing wrong with deciding to take advantage of a date on the calendar to make a positive change in my life. I can honestly say that I've stuck with a lot of 'resolutions' I've made. However, here is my biggest and best advice to all you resolution-setters:
-Be realistic! Don't 'resolve' that you will lose 50 pounds in 6 months, quit smoking, eat better, pick better boyfriends/girlfriends, exercise 7 days/week AND call your Mom every single Sunday. If those are realistic for you all at once, go for it.
For most of us, however, here is realistic:
- I want to lose 'xx' pounds and will start with not eating past 6pm, not finishing my child's leftovers and controlling my portion size, especially at dinner time.
- I do need to call my parent/s(brother/sister,etc) more often and will aim for do so every 2-3 weeks and more if I think of it.
- I want to quit smoking but can not do it on my own. I will utilize that 1-800 number I see posted, talk to friends, my doctor, etc and I really can do this!!
- The type of partner/s I chose is not about them, it's about me. I vow to take a break from romantic relationships and focus on myself.
- I resolve that every time I say something negative to myself, about myself, I will follow up with at least two nice things about myself.
- I resolve to work on my eating habits by changing just one small thing a month (unless it's a major health issue than seriously, GO FOR IT)
- I will start with committing to exercise at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes.
I don't know exactly what mine are yet but they do involve weight loss and exercise (they are popular for a reason. A lot of us really struggle with these). They also involve making 52 small changes this year, of varying sorts, and will be 'TBD'.
Not sure why New Year's resolutions get such a bashing. I also see nothing wrong with taking your sweetheart out for Valentine's Day, treating Mom extra nice on Mother's Day (and vice versa on Father's Day, etc.) I've heard people say that these celebrations and commitments should be year round, every day. Is this realistic? Somewhat. I love my husband every day and cherish him and he me. Does he cook all three meals every day? Not a chance!! On Mother's Day, he cooks all food for the day and does all the dishes. I don't expect this of him other days. He works 5 1/2 days/ week, long hours and works hard physically. So, yes, I LOVE Mother's Day. I guess those are different posts. It just gets me hyped up a bit when these 'calendar days/hallmark days' get bashed so much. The way I see it, if anyone out there can use New Year's to make a significant change in their life, for the best, and stick with it - it's worth it - period.
That's all.
Now, if you feel so compelled - start thinking and writing and planning - realistically. It's literally around the corner folks!
All the best!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Get it together Vik!!
I say this phrase, to myself (or variations of - and rather rudely and loudly) several times a day - though, thankfully, not every single day....quite. I don't understand why I can't get it together more, be better organized, get out of the house on time and arrive 'on time' to our destination, get a good 'complete' day of schooling in for Sage, finish the dishes, fold the laundry, not talk mean to my child because he's getting on my nerves, lose the weight I want to lose, get more things accomplished on a day I'm actually home all day, handle the budget better, smile and laugh more, etc etc (you get the idea and have most likely said those same ones, similar and/or more)......
Here are a few random pointers, for getting you (and ME) through (and no, I am not suggesting they'll work for everyone all the time, or at all) - just that they have worked for me:
- Work on becoming a 'single-tasker', not a multi-tasker. Actually completing even 1- 3 things a day feels so much better than starting 10 but never completing any of them. Guess what, it's still there waiting, giving us yet more reason to tell ourselves we weren't good enough, again....
- If you're lucky (and unlucky too) you will always be your own worst critic. Most times, the people around you, in your direct living environment, think you're doing an incredible job!
- Accept that there will always be something else waiting to be done. It doesn't stop, plain and simple. So, don't expect that suddenly at some sunshiny moment, everything in your life will be complete and 'done'.
-Remember that on another day, the things driving you nuts right now won't necessarily drive you nuts. Frame of mind....
- When you're right in the middle of a rant to yourself, about yourself - STOP and counteract the negativity with overkill of kindness. Seriously, toot your own horn ("I'm the best cook EVER", "No-one fixes a boo boo better than me", "I've got great hair", "Nobody looks as good in this shirt as I do", etc). Go for overkill here until you're laughing at yourself and glad that no-one is around to hear. Better yet, say it nice and loud dancing around whomever happens to be in the room.
- When it just seems like one of those days that things are not flowing and not a whole lot is feeling warm and fuzzy to you - give up. Yep, you read right - give it all up for the day. The world will keep revolving, don't worry. Accept it's just not working, and do something for yourself or play with your offspring. After all, we did have children to remind ourselves how to play more, amongst other reasons. One of my favorite things to do is just read to my 5yo son when I feel like my mind is going to explode.
-Finally (and desperately), if nothing else works, watch a Soap Opera (which, I haven't in about 20ish years but I remember what they were like!). Your life will always look better in comparison. If they're happy, you know they won't be for long.
By the way, I do believe I'm a truly great mother, wife and person, in case you were wondering.... :)
Here are a few random pointers, for getting you (and ME) through (and no, I am not suggesting they'll work for everyone all the time, or at all) - just that they have worked for me:
- Work on becoming a 'single-tasker', not a multi-tasker. Actually completing even 1- 3 things a day feels so much better than starting 10 but never completing any of them. Guess what, it's still there waiting, giving us yet more reason to tell ourselves we weren't good enough, again....
- If you're lucky (and unlucky too) you will always be your own worst critic. Most times, the people around you, in your direct living environment, think you're doing an incredible job!
- Accept that there will always be something else waiting to be done. It doesn't stop, plain and simple. So, don't expect that suddenly at some sunshiny moment, everything in your life will be complete and 'done'.
-Remember that on another day, the things driving you nuts right now won't necessarily drive you nuts. Frame of mind....
- When you're right in the middle of a rant to yourself, about yourself - STOP and counteract the negativity with overkill of kindness. Seriously, toot your own horn ("I'm the best cook EVER", "No-one fixes a boo boo better than me", "I've got great hair", "Nobody looks as good in this shirt as I do", etc). Go for overkill here until you're laughing at yourself and glad that no-one is around to hear. Better yet, say it nice and loud dancing around whomever happens to be in the room.
- When it just seems like one of those days that things are not flowing and not a whole lot is feeling warm and fuzzy to you - give up. Yep, you read right - give it all up for the day. The world will keep revolving, don't worry. Accept it's just not working, and do something for yourself or play with your offspring. After all, we did have children to remind ourselves how to play more, amongst other reasons. One of my favorite things to do is just read to my 5yo son when I feel like my mind is going to explode.
-Finally (and desperately), if nothing else works, watch a Soap Opera (which, I haven't in about 20ish years but I remember what they were like!). Your life will always look better in comparison. If they're happy, you know they won't be for long.
By the way, I do believe I'm a truly great mother, wife and person, in case you were wondering.... :)
Friday, November 15, 2013
I'm going barefoot......
So, I've wanted to blog for so long......and, well, like a lot of things - just never quite gotten around to it. So, jumping in - feet first......
The 'going barefoot' part represents 'naked me'. I aim to be honest but truth is, none of us are ever 100% honest all the time. For me, it's when I don't want to deal with something (or usually someone) 'head on' and would rather just 'avoid'.....
I'm 43, married (very very happily so) and have one little offspring named Sage. I have one hero - my son. More on that later....
I live what I consider to be a pretty healthy lifestyle. I'm learning to embrace what I have and to quit being so hard on myself, which I am a lot.
I have a very 'busy' past. Most that meet me find me rather grounded, 'ordinary' but a 'health-nut' with a sense of humor who is also pretty serious about life. I have been so many different versions of 'me', if that makes sense. Some I'm proud of and some not so much. Often, when I think back, or am talking to my husband about some things in my history, I find even myself thinking "wow, was that really me and how the heck did I find time to be so many different types of myself"?! May sound strange but, if you knew, you'd understand it just fine. And, for those out there that feel the same, there is no need for explanation.
I prefer savory foods over sweet - but have finally, after decades of living, developed a fine appreciation for certain chocolates. Thank goodness there are heavenly choices with no dairy in them!
I don't like the dark and like driving in it even less. I could get all analytical about my dislike of the dark but I won't - in this post anyway.
I don't like spiders. Too many legs moving in too many directions. Downright creepy!
I've been pretty unhappy with my physical body since my son was born. Recently I decided that 5 years was way too long of a time to spend wallowing in this, so I'm working on just embracing my beauty as it is - and fine tuning it as I can. I'm ecstatic to report that my husband appreciates me just fine.
I was born in Australia, moved to America when I was 18 (planning to stay for just 2 years) and married my husband when I was 35. He was (and is) by far the most amazing and loving relationship I'd ever had with any man - period.
I truly appreciate my good friends. I pick and chose who I invest my energy in because I don't like to be around negative people. I've definitely walked away from many friendships (or potential ones) because it just wasn't what I wanted or needed for any given number of reasons. We're allowed to do that you know. I often think some people don't know that they are actually allowed to pick their friends and don't 'have' to be around folks that are not healthy for them to be around. I can honestly say that all of my good friends would be there for me if I really needed them and would drop just about whatever they had to in order to help me out. Sure hope that doesn't happen - but as life goes, it most likely will. Oh wait - yeah, it did already......when our 5 week old son had to undergo open heart surgery to save his life. More on that later too.....
In a nutshell closing paragraph - I love to dance (but don't often enough), write, swim(recently rediscovered just how much I love this), kiss my husband (need to do this more), hug my son, talk to my friends, read, be alone, go to work and feel productive, be efficient, feel the milder summer sun on my skin, listen to the ocean (need to get back there), feel the silence of the fall season, give my opinion (ha!), make healthy vegan food & eat it, sleep, okay.....so I just have a lot to say and could easily go on.....
For now, I'm signing off. Time for lessons with my son. Today we will play with the letters "E" & "F", the number "3" and trace around his body on paper and draw in all the different organs, body parts, etc. I know, you wanna come over.....
Consider this an intro to me - and my blog.
Oh, and I honestly believe that the best gift you can give the world is your own happiness.....
The 'going barefoot' part represents 'naked me'. I aim to be honest but truth is, none of us are ever 100% honest all the time. For me, it's when I don't want to deal with something (or usually someone) 'head on' and would rather just 'avoid'.....
I'm 43, married (very very happily so) and have one little offspring named Sage. I have one hero - my son. More on that later....
I live what I consider to be a pretty healthy lifestyle. I'm learning to embrace what I have and to quit being so hard on myself, which I am a lot.
I have a very 'busy' past. Most that meet me find me rather grounded, 'ordinary' but a 'health-nut' with a sense of humor who is also pretty serious about life. I have been so many different versions of 'me', if that makes sense. Some I'm proud of and some not so much. Often, when I think back, or am talking to my husband about some things in my history, I find even myself thinking "wow, was that really me and how the heck did I find time to be so many different types of myself"?! May sound strange but, if you knew, you'd understand it just fine. And, for those out there that feel the same, there is no need for explanation.
I prefer savory foods over sweet - but have finally, after decades of living, developed a fine appreciation for certain chocolates. Thank goodness there are heavenly choices with no dairy in them!
I don't like the dark and like driving in it even less. I could get all analytical about my dislike of the dark but I won't - in this post anyway.
I don't like spiders. Too many legs moving in too many directions. Downright creepy!
I've been pretty unhappy with my physical body since my son was born. Recently I decided that 5 years was way too long of a time to spend wallowing in this, so I'm working on just embracing my beauty as it is - and fine tuning it as I can. I'm ecstatic to report that my husband appreciates me just fine.
I was born in Australia, moved to America when I was 18 (planning to stay for just 2 years) and married my husband when I was 35. He was (and is) by far the most amazing and loving relationship I'd ever had with any man - period.
I truly appreciate my good friends. I pick and chose who I invest my energy in because I don't like to be around negative people. I've definitely walked away from many friendships (or potential ones) because it just wasn't what I wanted or needed for any given number of reasons. We're allowed to do that you know. I often think some people don't know that they are actually allowed to pick their friends and don't 'have' to be around folks that are not healthy for them to be around. I can honestly say that all of my good friends would be there for me if I really needed them and would drop just about whatever they had to in order to help me out. Sure hope that doesn't happen - but as life goes, it most likely will. Oh wait - yeah, it did already......when our 5 week old son had to undergo open heart surgery to save his life. More on that later too.....
In a nutshell closing paragraph - I love to dance (but don't often enough), write, swim(recently rediscovered just how much I love this), kiss my husband (need to do this more), hug my son, talk to my friends, read, be alone, go to work and feel productive, be efficient, feel the milder summer sun on my skin, listen to the ocean (need to get back there), feel the silence of the fall season, give my opinion (ha!), make healthy vegan food & eat it, sleep, okay.....so I just have a lot to say and could easily go on.....
For now, I'm signing off. Time for lessons with my son. Today we will play with the letters "E" & "F", the number "3" and trace around his body on paper and draw in all the different organs, body parts, etc. I know, you wanna come over.....
Consider this an intro to me - and my blog.
Oh, and I honestly believe that the best gift you can give the world is your own happiness.....
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